What Do You Think Of When I Say "Alone" ?
This month I looked inside myself and asked what I thought it meant to be truly alone. I staged what I like to think of as an internal investigation, and I tried to be honest with myself. I found myself questioning the idea of being alone so much that I came to realize how many possible ways “alone” could be interpreted. The more dwelling I did, the more I realized that alone means something different to every person. I thought it might be interesting to see what sort of perspective other people had on what it means to be alone. I decided to ask a few of the least lonely people I know, and ask them what being alone means to them, and how they cope with loneliness.
In order of appearance:
Maria is someone that is constantly beaming. She's wise beyond her years, and she always seems to have the right answer to everything. Her advice is keen and honest, and when I asked her what it means to be alone, I knew she would give me an answer that was meaningful and genuine. Her answer was reassuring as well as heartfelt. Maria is always so well put together and if she is not talking to someone, she's working hard. I guess it is true that you never truly know what a person has felt, and Maria is a perfect example. It's important to keep in mind that everyone has gone through something at some point in their life, even the people we think are the most collected know what it feels like to have no one around.
When I asked Joana the question, I honestly had no idea what to expect. I knew she had felt alone because everyone does, but her reaction was heart wrenching to me. I knew that her responses were sincere, and i couldn't image someone so genuine and kind-hearted having felt so alone and not having a response other that that she doesn't know how to cope with feeling lonely. Joana is one of those people who is sympathetic, and constantly lifts my mood without fail. We need to protect people as sweet and authentic as her. I promise I will be making more of an effort to make her feel less alone. The truth is, I think we get so caught up in our own lives that sometimes we don't appreciate the people who take time out of their day to compliment us, and we don't do enough to ask them or help them with their mental health.
HUGI
How do you describe Hugi? If you have ever had the honor of being in her presence, you would know that Hugi is beyond any singular adjective. She always knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. She's hilarious, and I knew that her answer was going to be earnest as well as light-hearted. Hugi is someone I try to take the most care of because she has always looked out for me. I think that looking our for your best friends is beyond important. Hugi, if you read this, I love you so much and thank you for always worrying about me and asking about my mental health, you mean the world.
Mia is the youngest person I interviewed. Her response made me cry because it was so innocent and sweet. I knew she meant every word she said and the fact that someone so young had such an optimistic perspective was refreshing and heart-warming to say the least. I know that Mia has so much potential, and her outlook on what it means to be alone is the complete opposite of what I would have said as a freshman. Mia is such a glass-half-full human being and I just want to give her a hug.
I asked Cami what she thought it meant to be alone already knowing that her answer would be meaningful. Cami is popular and beloved in the best ways. She has a lot of friends, and she always seems to know where the best place to have a good time is. I didn't expect her to say that she enjoyed spending as much time alone as she did. This video is really teaching me more and more about perspective. I love Cami and I know that she will always laugh when I tell an awful joke. She's unapologetic in her honesty, but she is still incredibly empathetic, and I think that is one of the reasons people are so drawn to her.
Vale is too pure for this world. She has a heart of gold and I know that she knows that I would never let her be alone. She hates being alone and she even says it here. I think it is important for us to remember that as great as we make being alone out to be, it is still okay to be afraid of isolation or being lonely. The point of this video is to make people understand that they are not really alone, there are like-minded people in the world that are experiencing all that they feel and more. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel, that is something Vale taught me.
Claudia is full of energy and always has a smile on her face. I asked her the question for several reasons, the most important of all was what being alone signified to her. I know Clau well enough to know that she has a lot of friends and people that support her, and as much as I understood that everyone is capable of being lonely, I wasn't exactly sure what the extent of her loneliness had been. I drew that being alone is somewhat bittersweet to her. I think being alone doesn't have to be something you exclusively love or hate, and Clau reminded me of that. I can be both comfortable and uncomfortable alone. The world is not merely in black and white.
I guess it can be said for all my best friends that I never think about if they are alone or not. I never think they are alone, mostly because I don't shut up enough to leave them alone. I care about their mental health, but I haven't been as annoying about it as I should be. Laura is always concerned about the people around her. She is one of the most intellectual people I have ever met, and I have always envied her intelligence. Her style is as vibrant as her personality, and when she said she hadn't felt lonely in a while, it filled me up with love. Laura is and undeniable force of nature. She is unmissable, not only because she has pink hair, but because of how much love she has to offer. I think it is easy for us to forget how even the people that seem to be at the top of their game can feel alone too.
I actually forgot that Alexia had previously mentioned her struggles with spending time all by her lonesome before filming her. We were speaking about Lorde's Melodrama, and about how vulnerable Liability was, and she briefly said that she wished she could spend some more time alone. I remember thinking that the intimacy of that song must have meant two different things to us, and yet it affected us both tremendously. Her answer in this video reminded me of that moment and I realized that she still feels a bit insecure about spending time by herself. Alexia is someone who, to put it simply, just knows. She just seems to have the perfect solution for all her problems, and everything seems to work out so well. I mean that in the best way, and I know that not everything is perfect, but she has such a grea thead on her shoulders. I know all is never as it seems, but hearing her talk about trying her best was a reassurance that at the end of the day, we are all one in the same.
All in all, I drew the conclusion that being alone or being lonely means something different to everyone. I think it's important to remember that it is absolutely natural to feel lonely even if you know you aren't physically alone. Sometimes, the feeling of being lonely is due to the fact that we feel like no one can relate to us. I think not wanting to be by ourselves internalizes a fear a being alone more, and when we accept solitary moments, we are more prone to reflect on who we are and get to learn about ourselves. Go out in the world and make people feel like they have someone, because if you suffer when you're by yourself, chances are someone else is suffering too.