I'm Sorry

I'm sorry, I really am.

I've tried to think of all the ways that I could make RENEF different, unique, I wanted it to stand out and be something that represented me wholeheartedly. I wanted it to be something that was like my brain and that was comprised of my feelings. I didn't want it to be this cookie-cutter, PG blog, but every time I wrote an article that's how it felt. I wrote and wrote and nothing felt adequate. Everything felt cliche and overdone. I wanted RENEF to mean something. I want it to be something big, something inspiring, something that I could have read when I was younger and that could have changed my life. But how? How can I create something I am both proud of and that other people will enjoy? How can I captivate people and also educate them? That's my dream. To create a platform of acceptance and education that is engaging and isn't strenuous. How can I ? How can I tell people that I wish for a better world, how I wish that all forms of discrimination would end. How do I express that? How do I, a frail, 16 year old girl, change the world? I don't know, I still don't know, but what I do know, is that I care. I care a whole lot. I want this to mean something and I feel like I could be better.

I'm not saying that I give up. No, no, nooo, this is far from that. There will always be RENEF. As long as I can write, RENEF will exist. And when you read something on RENEF, I promise that I will have put effort into every article, even if it's one that no one reads. I want this to be something that people can appreciate. I want this to help people and interest them. I want to use my voice to make the world a better place. So maybe I will have to sacrifice quantity to create more articles of quality. I don’t just want to spew random articles and act like I couldn’t do better. I can always do better. If I can’t give RENEF my best then it won’t get anything at all. I’m trying, I really am, I want this to be something so peculiar and unique that it is in its own right exceptional. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don’t want this to just be something half-assed. I want it to reach its full potential and in order to do that I need to take more time, so I won't be posting daily, but when I do post, it will be content I am genuinely proud of. For now, I'm sorry, I'm sorry that my work isn't always the best it can be. I'm sorry that I can't crank out daily articles like I intended to, but when I get there, this apology will have no use. So thank you, thank you for reading and engaging and enjoying. I can't wait to see what is to come.

This article was written by: Alexandra Fener

Founder of RENEF / lover of dogs / fearer of heights / watcher of films / reader of books / writer of stories / owner of many craft supplies. Some would say too many craft supplies, but we never listen to "some" anyway.